i cant fucking belive i have a website also ive decided to have a redacted gif it looks nice. isnt it cool?
it dosent feel real to exist, and that its 2020. the fuck.
so um, whats up? within me getting a new laptop ive decided that it would be good to revamp my whole, entire, website and life. around Dec. 19,2019 i was so low,[REDACTED]and in general ive just been thinking about this site alot, i no longer feel like a constat state of anxiety has a chokehold, it still does, just not as tight. 2019 was one of the worst years of my life. i want to make 2020 a hell of alot better for my mental state and my adhd, autsim, and ptsd ect.. i also want N and me to become even closer friends, cause i know people sometimes dont talk after highschool now but hes one of the people ive grown closest too and its just i dont want him to abandon me cause.. we homies. oi think hes one of the coolest people i know and i really wanna spend more time with him, and J. ive also finnaly!! fixed my music page, i litterally dont fucking know how to embed videos and pairing them up with text, ugh... fucking MESS!!!! i think the link layout is so much sleeker and more ~OlDw3B~ than the prievious. i feel like now my lifes gonna do good things for me. also i now have a red/yellow magic deck Ns gonna teach me how to use!!! its nearly 2am i really have to sleep.
i stole some bugs to feed my refrigerator please note also i am scared of bugs also ive recently been watching this and oh my god what the fuck like im not judging but...some of it *cringe*
so uh i feel like an idiot, a song ive litterally been vibing to for months was not the song name i thought it was. like im sorry but sometimes all goth songs have very very simular uhh names?? like dead girl, she passed away ect ect. like im vibing tryna look like this and every time i would type that combination into youtube it would show up and i barely thought anything of it. massive idiot. today was the first day back to classes. i so far really like my scedual execpt for one class, i would personally preferr to drop it tho, i dont think i would do well. i found out my numerology numbers today. it was interesting. 11. 8. 8. 9.
i dont know what my stance on religion is. but i belive that i am a fallen angel. i am in line with metatron and me praying to him he has been helping me. sometimes when i dream i dont get nightmares but i am alone and i am transformed into a bunny. i am in the flower of life and i cant describe what he is telling me but there is a smell and i reconize the smell. i forgot what i was saying. im litsening to this. its good i like it. thanks josh for sending me the shirt :)